The Nine Lives of Chloe King, Book One: The Fallen by Liz Braswell

A few years ago ABC Family produced a series that lasted for--oh--about one season. That series happened to be about a certain mystically feline teen who killed people by kissing them…in San Francisco. Ring a bell?

Well, one day when I had nothing better to do (as a figure of speech), I binge-watched The Nine Lives of Chloe King and knew that I wanted to read the book. Sure, the television show wasn't that good, but it was mildly entertaining and I had wondered if the interesting magical premises were even better in literary form. They had to be, right?

Turns out they're not. I don't know how this book was optioned.

Everything you think about annoying teenagers once you've passed into adulthood is in this book. Everything you hate about the bitchy girls who whine all the time is in this book.

Teens drinking, partying, getting high, making out with people too old for them, stealing, ditching school, lying to everyone, CHECK! Teens bickering about how one isn't paying enough attention to the other, check! Teens killing boys with their deadly kisses--okay, that part is pretty cool.

But other than that, Chloe is vapid and really unrealistic. Honestly, what 16-year-old girl decides to not wear underwear? That's ridiculous! And who decided it was okay to perpetuate the myth of tampon sizes having anything to do with sex? RIDICULOUS! This whole book was ridiculous. I am officially cured of my curiosity relating to cat-people in teen dramas.

~4/10~